TV Series

If hadn't mentioned it before, we are doing a show to air next summer/fall.  It started out where I was watching a movie on tv and saw a preview for a new show that would begin airing this past summer.  I was chatting with our birth mother via text who had JUST selected us and told her she should check out the previews and we should begin watching it each week together over the phone or something.  The show is mostly about the birth mother and the struggles she goes through with her decision, her support group, her friends/family, choosing a family for her child, giving birth and following through with the adoption plan.  Some episodes show the adoptive family... some do not.

When she went online to view the previews for the new show, she saw that there was a form to fill out to be a part of the show.  So, she then tells me she signed us up.  It's TV... we aren't going to get chosen, right? Well, soon the casting agents were calling her and interviewing her, asking for background info, collecting pictures, talking to her agency, and sending camera crews and psychologists to meet with her.  I guess they liked everything about our story, so they booked her.  They asked if we were willing to be a part of the show and they sent us a ton of consent forms, back ground check paper work and after many phone calls, it was all set up.

It was the weekend prior to the unraveling of our match that we were with the filming crew for the first time.  We spent the weekend doing fun things.  We had our 4D sonogram.  Ate meals.  Had interviews.  Went shopping.  Had a day at an art studio creating tye dye onesies together while the guys (Joe and the birth father) were filming at the bar down the street.  The whole thing was very surreal.  And after a bit, it was hard to even remember the cameras were there, except for those awkward silent moments where we ran out of things to talk about, yet they wanted more... LOL.

So anyhow, we considered withdrawing from the show.  After several weeks of the birth mother lashing out at me and claiming I only didn't want the show to film our moderated agency meeting because it would prove that I did her wrong by setting limitations on the open adoption, we finally decided it would be ok if we proceeded with the show.  After all... we DO have a story to tell.  Our adoption match was unique.  It presented obstacles that not all adoptions face.  It shows a friendship, turmoil, disagreement, separation, disruption and peace. I don't know what she will decide to do over the next 7 weeks.  I hear she is looking at new families and still intends to follow through with adoption, but she no longer confides much in me.  We talk maybe once every few days and it is very brief, via text or facebook.

We are doing video diaries, which we send to the show producers to be included in the episode.  In December they intend to interview us a final time when the baby is born... not because the baby is being born, but more so that's when they will be flying out again to film with the birth mother and want to fit us in at the same time.  Hopefully, by December we'll have an update that we've been matched.  If not, the show won't be airing until August/September of next season, so by then, we surely will have a baby to share pictures of at the end of the show.  (Fingers crossed)

I think continuing with the show, but separately from the birth parents, will show a very real side of adoption that the show has previously not experienced.  I hope it can help both birth and adoptive parents have a better understanding of adoption and the necessity of setting boundaries early on.